… in walked Gretchen. “Her tits are small” my brain thought, “really small!”
And before you judge, look at it from my brain’s standpoint. If you watched someone prance about in a nothing but a baggy t-shirt, take after take of getting out of the shower in nothing but a towel, or endlessly checking her legs in the mirror you would think you would know what this person looks like.
And she did look like the girl in the movie, but she didn’t. She was younger, taller and her legs slightly more butch, and that’s the one part of her I thought I had down. She was cute though, kinda dorky and pretty smart. This wasn’t a date, but spending the morning with a cute and intelligent girl would not go down on my list of things that displease and depress me. I have yet to make that list by the way, because I have a feeling it will displease and depress me.
She ordered hot chocolate at the counter and I hung out in the armchair, no way I was going over there. I was the only guy in the place, and I also gave the universal what’s up signals (fig 1) when she came in, so I could safely assume that she would come to me.
And before you judge, look at it from my brain’s standpoint. If you watched someone prance about in a nothing but a baggy t-shirt, take after take of getting out of the shower in nothing but a towel, or endlessly checking her legs in the mirror you would think you would know what this person looks like.
And she did look like the girl in the movie, but she didn’t. She was younger, taller and her legs slightly more butch, and that’s the one part of her I thought I had down. She was cute though, kinda dorky and pretty smart. This wasn’t a date, but spending the morning with a cute and intelligent girl would not go down on my list of things that displease and depress me. I have yet to make that list by the way, because I have a feeling it will displease and depress me.
She ordered hot chocolate at the counter and I hung out in the armchair, no way I was going over there. I was the only guy in the place, and I also gave the universal what’s up signals (fig 1) when she came in, so I could safely assume that she would come to me.
Figure 1 My assumptions were correct and in no time were heads first into getting nowhere, me striking the flint of salutations, hoping for the roaring fire of conversation and her being the kid who hates camping. It wasn’t all that bad though, she seemed relatively interested in what I was doing with the movie, the coffee was good, and the place smelled like a deep vanilla. But after we realized there was no conceivable date to get together to shoot, the meeting was suddenly without purpose. It was shortly after this she left, and that covers what was said.
But 90% of all communication is non-verbal, and this is what was not being “said”
She kept looking away like she was thinking of something else. Although her responses were not delayed and she was obviously paying attention she wasn’t looking at me. It wasn’t that she was shying from eye contact, because when I pointed this out she did nothing but look into my eyes. I had a distinct feeling she didn’t want to look at me.
Now sure my distinct feeling is just another way of saying gut reaction, which is a colloquial way of saying that you have given something zero conscious thought and are going off of instinct which is subject to a myriad of prejudices, self centered ego rooted bullshit. But seeing is how I have no other reference points at this moment I am sticking with that.
“She sighed, perhaps bored? She didn’t pick up her hot chocolate at all, wait stratch that she is drinking it. Okay, so why am I still talking about her character. We don’t get to know her, we just see her in the movie and she does something… there is no plot therefore the…what is she looking at?! This is fucking irritating… she wasn’t like this on the phone, we talked forever, she was fun. Is it me, is it the pants? What did she expect? Why is sh…”
Then I it hit upon me. I had seen that expression before, when she got the direction to look confused and sad. But the result was an expression that sold the movie, an expression of guilt, pain, sadness, and disappointment. Disappointment, that was it, she was disappointed. Why, did she expect something different? Did she think I was hot or something on the phone? Maybe… I have been told I have a hot phone voice from a girl who liked that we didn’t see each other in person. Maybe she was excited to meet for coffee with a 22 year old “Director”. She was 17… oh jesus she is 17! Man what the fuck am I even going down this road for anyway, she is still in high school.
I watched go out the door and wolfed down the rest of my coffee, which was delicious enough to inspire me to make up with the girl at the counter. To bad I had only three bucks to my name, or I would have dropped the 5.25 to get even more jacked than I am now.
In my own way I am kind of junkie when I comes to caffeine. I am not bragging, but I can put away my fair share of the stuff. I find it ha…
So I walk out the and into the very bright morning sun, drive home in the morning rain?
It wouldn’t be until later that day I got a phone call from her.
“Sorry I couldn’t work with you; I hope you find someone else.”
“That’s okay. It sucks that you couldn’t be in my movie you would have been perfect”
“Why would you say that?”
“Well I thought you were amazing in Philippe’s movie, and I thought you could bring something special to the character in my movie”
“But I did nothing in Philippe’s movie.”
“I wouldn’t say that, I mean you ran the gamete of emotions. In one minute you sold this character.”
“No, I don’t think you understand I did nothing. They gave me all these directions, but I just sat and stared blankly. There was no thought behind it.”
But 90% of all communication is non-verbal, and this is what was not being “said”
She kept looking away like she was thinking of something else. Although her responses were not delayed and she was obviously paying attention she wasn’t looking at me. It wasn’t that she was shying from eye contact, because when I pointed this out she did nothing but look into my eyes. I had a distinct feeling she didn’t want to look at me.
Now sure my distinct feeling is just another way of saying gut reaction, which is a colloquial way of saying that you have given something zero conscious thought and are going off of instinct which is subject to a myriad of prejudices, self centered ego rooted bullshit. But seeing is how I have no other reference points at this moment I am sticking with that.
“She sighed, perhaps bored? She didn’t pick up her hot chocolate at all, wait stratch that she is drinking it. Okay, so why am I still talking about her character. We don’t get to know her, we just see her in the movie and she does something… there is no plot therefore the…what is she looking at?! This is fucking irritating… she wasn’t like this on the phone, we talked forever, she was fun. Is it me, is it the pants? What did she expect? Why is sh…”
Then I it hit upon me. I had seen that expression before, when she got the direction to look confused and sad. But the result was an expression that sold the movie, an expression of guilt, pain, sadness, and disappointment. Disappointment, that was it, she was disappointed. Why, did she expect something different? Did she think I was hot or something on the phone? Maybe… I have been told I have a hot phone voice from a girl who liked that we didn’t see each other in person. Maybe she was excited to meet for coffee with a 22 year old “Director”. She was 17… oh jesus she is 17! Man what the fuck am I even going down this road for anyway, she is still in high school.
I watched go out the door and wolfed down the rest of my coffee, which was delicious enough to inspire me to make up with the girl at the counter. To bad I had only three bucks to my name, or I would have dropped the 5.25 to get even more jacked than I am now.
In my own way I am kind of junkie when I comes to caffeine. I am not bragging, but I can put away my fair share of the stuff. I find it ha…
So I walk out the and into the very bright morning sun, drive home in the morning rain?
It wouldn’t be until later that day I got a phone call from her.
“Sorry I couldn’t work with you; I hope you find someone else.”
“That’s okay. It sucks that you couldn’t be in my movie you would have been perfect”
“Why would you say that?”
“Well I thought you were amazing in Philippe’s movie, and I thought you could bring something special to the character in my movie”
“But I did nothing in Philippe’s movie.”
“I wouldn’t say that, I mean you ran the gamete of emotions. In one minute you sold this character.”
“No, I don’t think you understand I did nothing. They gave me all these directions, but I just sat and stared blankly. There was no thought behind it.”
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